5 lesson that will have u ;)smile...>.<

> Lesson 1:
>
> A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
> shower, when the doorbell rings.
>
> The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
>
> When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
>
> Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
>
>
> After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
> front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and le! aves.
>
>
> The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
>
> When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
>
> 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
>
> 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
>
>
>
>
> Moral of the story:
>
> If you sh are critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
> shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
> exposure.
>
>
> Lesson 2:
>
> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ! walking to
> lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
>
> They rub it and a Genie comes out.
> The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
> 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,
> driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
> Puff! She's gone.
>
> 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
> on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
> and the love of my life.'
>
> Puff! He's gone.
>
> 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
> The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
>
>
> Moral of the story:
> Always let your boss have the first say.
>
> Lesson 3
>
>
> An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
>
> A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
> nothing?'
> The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
>
> So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
> sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on t! he rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story:
> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
>
>
> ! Lesson 4
>
> A turkey was chatting with a bull.
>
> 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
> 'but I haven't got the energy.'
> 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
> They're packed with nutrients.'
>
> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
> str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>
> The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
>
> Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
> the tree.
>
> He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the t! ree.
>
>
> Moral of the story:
> Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
> !
>
>
> Lesson 5
>
> A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
> froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
>
> While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>
> As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
> how warm he was.
>
> The dung was actually thawing him out!
>
> He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
> A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
>
> Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
> dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
>
>
> Morals of the story:
> (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
>
> (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
>
> (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
> your mouth shut!